Lieder
by minorshan
Summary: My attempt to make songfic more than pasting lyrics between paragraphs. A series of one-shots examining various Normandy crew members. Some comedy, some angst, etc. Rating varies between chapters, but generally T. Give me a shot?
1. King For A Day

**A/N:** Thanks for clicking! I despise songfic, but like many out there, can't help but hear characters in songs I'm listening to. So, I decided to see how well I could integrate lyrics into prose as a little exercise when I'm suffering writer's block. Some will be funny, some angst, etc. Some will have much more adult language than others, so be warned. Hope you enjoy!

Links to actual songs are in my profile.

**King For A Day**

"Mr. Moreau?"

"Yes, EDI?" answered Joker in exasperation.

"May I call you Jeff?" the feminine voice inquired.

"Uh, yeah, sure. I guess. Its my name isn't it?"

"Yes." She answered. "Jeff," added after a pause. "Would you tell me an interesting anecdote from your life?"

Joker grimaced. "Uh... why?"

"My programming tells me that this is an effective way to bond between sentient humanoids. I would like to get to know you."

Joker's face was beset by a smirk he was pretty sure EDI couldn't read. "Okay, how about a story from my childhood?"

"Yes, that would seem most acceptable."

"Weeell... I dunno...." Joker needled.

"I can be trusted. I only wish to get to know you better," intoned EDI.

"Alright. Alright..." he heaved a deep breath. "I guess its just you and me this late at night. But if I tell you this, you keep it to yourself?"

The blue orb that represented EDI bobbed from it's projector before answering. "Of course."

Joker peered over both edges of his seat dramatically before answering. Finally he started. "Well... it started at the age of four when my mother went to the grocery store. I went sneaking through her bedroom door to find something in a size four." At EDI's silence Joker directed his head at her blue orb. "Sugar and spice wasn't meant for only girls, y'know... My dad threw me in therapy. He thought I wasn't a real man. He put the _drag_ into Drag Queen."

"Well, Jeff, according to my programming that is not typical to human male behavior."

"Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it!" responded Joker, raising one finger. "I'm the GI. Joe in panty hoes, and even if no one knows - I'm a king for the day – a princess by dawn. In a leather thong." He settled back in his seat with a smirk. "I was thinking of revealing myself to the crew... just wait til' all the guys get a load of me!"

"I'm not sure that would garner the reaction you wish, Jeff."

"EDI?"

"Yes?"

"It was a joke."

The Actual Lyrics:

**"King For A Day" – Green Day**  
_  
Started at the age of 4.  
My mother went to the grocery store.  
Went sneaking through her bedroom door to find something in a size 4._

Sugar and spice and everything nice wasn't made for only girls.  
GI Joe in panty hose is making room for the one and only.

King for a day, princess by dawn.  
King for a day in a leather thong.  
King for a day, princess by dawn.  
Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me.

My daddy threw me in therapy.  
He thinks I'm not a real man.  
Who put the drag in the drag queen.  
Don't knock it until you tried it


	2. Stuart And Aven

**A/N:** I despise songfic, but like many out there, can't help but hear characters in songs I'm listening to. So, I decided to see how well I could integrate lyrics into prose as a little exercise when I'm suffering writer's block. I change some lyrics to fit the situation, and of course omit repeating choruses. Some will be funny, some angst, etc. Some will have much more adult language than others, so be warned. Hope you enjoy!

Links to actual songs are in my profile.

Warning: Strong language.

**Stuart and Aven Systems**

Shepard stared hard at the message glowing back at her from the console. Kaidan's "apology". She set her jaw in a hard stance before clicking on "reply". Her hands floated over the keyboard before she stood up and leaned into the desk, palms gripped on the corner as her eyes narrowed. She punched the "dictate audio" key before standing up and holding her hands behind her back.

She cleared her throat. "Kaidan.... _new paragraph_. I'm floating here on the corner of the the Stuart and Aven systems and I get this letter from you. I get _this_ letter from you. Well, rest assured, I am deleting it and ripping up my photograph of you! Its clear you don't know what I've been through or what I have on my plate. You're a blur of my dead past and... _rotting_ existence, as I stand here on the edge of insignificance. And I can't have you distracting me from what needs to be done. Maybe you'll understand that.

Our destiny is dead.... by the hands of bad luck. Before? It might have made some sense, but now..." she heaved an angry sigh at where fate had placed her. "Now, its all fucked up! Look – seasons change just like minds and you may now think I'm just some two-faced clown. In the end, you're my worst nightmare, playing Udina's lapdog, commanding his little ship around. " She ground the palms of her hands into her eyes, imagining saying this to his Kaidan's face, the frustration roiling in her gut. "I'm beat down... I feel half brain dead, but - hell, maybe you're right! Maybe I am the long lost queen of fools. I may be dumb, but I'm not _stupid_ enough to stay with you!"

Her hands dropped from her face, dangling at her sides as she scanned the dictated message. A grumble escaped her throat as her better nature won out. "Goddammit..." she muttered and hastily hit the "delete" key. She fell into her deskchair with a thump and stared at Kaidan's message for a moment longer before finally closing it out.

EDI's voice chimed brightly over the comm. "Thirty minutes to dock at planet, Commander."

"Thank you, EDI," she replied, doing her best to not belay her mood. "I could do with killing some assholes right about now," she finished under her breath.

The Actual Lyrics:

"**Stuart and the Ave." - Green Day**

_Standing on the corner of  
Stuart and the avenue  
Ripping up a transfer  
And a photograph of you  
You're a blur of my dead past and rotting existence  
As I stand on the corner of insignificance_

(chorus)  
Destiny is dead  
In the hands of bad luck  
Before it might have made some sense  
But now it's all fucked up

Seasons change as well as minds  
And I'm a two-faced clown  
You're mommy's little nightmare  
Driving daddy's car around  
I'm beat down and half brain dead  
The long lost king of fools  
I may be dumb  
But I'm not stupid enough to stay with you  



	3. Rubicon

**Rubicon**

I'm standing before the doors to the briefing room, and I find I'm praying for myself. I've never been a religious, but like the old saying, there are no atheists in foxholes. I take a deep breath, steeling myself as I walk through the door and see the team I've built over the past months. I survey their faces, wondering whose I won't be seeing tomorrow. Maybe they won't be seeing mine. _These_ thoughts, I try to hide. Despite it all, I have faith in myself, and I hope it will survive. But its tearing me apart.

My mouth begins to move, and I can feel all my will spilling into those words in a rallying speech. Its a talent I've always had. But I can't hear the words by which I guide. And I ask myself, again, who will carry _me_? Despite what I may tell Kelly, when she wants to get all analyst on me, I can't deny to myself that nothing can defend against the helplessness that's cutting deep inside me. Hell, I can't stop the thought that nothing's real. That I'm not real. Maybe just a hallucination my brain's cooked up to soften the pain of death. Maybe I'm still floating in space. But here I am. We're going in. It seems like I've waited years for this day to end.

I turn, arms crossed, and stare into the holographic display. The crew must assume I'm considering who send into the ventilation shaft, but I'm not seeing the display. I'm seeing the reflection of my face in the fish tank from minutes before I came down here. The strength I need to feel.... the pride inside of me. They were not behind the face that stared back at me. All I could see what the anger and the pain of knowing where I am. I've come so far, and I can't return. It shown plain on my face, and I hope that the commander's mask is firmly in place now. I feel my jaw set, and the decision comes as instinctually as I don't want to make it. "Tali. You can hack through anything. I'm sending you into the shaft." She nods, full of faith in me.

My mind wanders again, scanning for the millionth time every possible thing I could have missed to prepare for this. But there's nothing I can do that I have not done. I choose members for each squad, and again my voice find the words I didn't know were there. "Lets bring our people home," I finished, a fist slamming into my palm. And there it was. No words left that I can say. No truth left that I can see. Its like every fight I've ever found myself in, and yet completely different. And I know that I must accept that this all may end - everything may fall apart. Accept this is what I must do before I can go on with my life, as I have always done.

I turn on my heel and exit the room resolutely, and I can feel my team behind me, but inside I once again turn my thoughts outward, hoping for guidance from a being I don't really believe in. _'Tell me what to do, so I do nothing wrong. Show me something I can hope for. Something real that I can see,'_ pleads my mind, hoping against hope for an answer. _'So nothing falls apart. So no one's life ends. If I fail anyone, I don't think.... I can't return from that. I can't start again.'_

The last of my squad feet land behind me and I fight back the voices of self-doubt. My shoulders straighten and I cock my pistol. "Let's make this count."

The Actual Lyrics:

"**Rubicon" - VNV Nation**

_Praying for myself.  
These thoughts I try to hide.  
I have faith in me and hope this will survive.  
But it's tearing me apart.  
I can't hear the words by which I guide.  
So I must ask again who will carry me._

I cannot deny that nothing can defend  
from the helplessness that's cutting deep inside,  
and I can't prevent the thought that nothing's real.  
It seems I've waited years for this day to end.

The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,  
Are not there behind the face staring back at me.  
The anger and the pain of knowing where I am.  
I have come so far and I cannot return.

Nothing I can do that I have not done.  
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see.  
So must I let this end so everything falls apart.  
Before I live the life as I have always done.

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.  
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.  
So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.  
I cannot return. I can't start again 


End file.
